As an avowed news junkie, at times I must take a break from the murder and mayhem, not to mention wars, and various and sundry other items with shouting headlines that keep us up at night.

Daily, I’m on the lookout for funny, odd and perhaps hilarious headlines. The following were culled from the pages of The Washington Post and The New York Times. In a few cases, I add my own take on these gems.

Let’s get started!

“Bear helps itself to 60 cupcakes at a Connecticut bakery.” (The Post, May 31, 2023)

My take: Why did the bear stop at 60? How about 61 are even 161, considering a bear’s insatiable appetite for sweets? Also, did the headline writer approximate how many cupcakes the bear ate or did the confectioner supply that information? And finally, what kind of icing was on these cupcakes?

Another Post doozy: “Harvard morgue manager charged in scheme to sell stolen body parts.” (June 15, 2023)

How about a secondary deadline that further entices the reader to check out this story? For example:

“Manager: “The little toes were the most popular.’”

Or: “Investigation gets to the heart of the matter.”

We read a lot about how pandemic relief money has been misused, with charges brought by the U.S. Department of Justice. On that topic, the New York Times got this scoop on August 31, 2023:

“Man gets two years in prison for spending pandemic money on alpaca farm.”

That’ll show him for cheating on Uncle Sam’s dime! Now, I hear that this man is knitting sweaters for the warden!

By Ron Cooper © 2024